Dear Dr. Neder:

 

I’m 33 years old and I was a virgin up until a few weeks ago. I was waiting to meet the right girl, and I finally did. But when I slept with her, I couldn’t cum. In fact, I had trouble getting a full erection at all, and then I couldn’t keep it the one time I did.

 

My girlfriend is hot, and she even tried oral. It felt great for a while, but then I started getting a little bored when she stopped licking the tip.

 

I was getting sick that weekend, but this has happened to us before. My girlfriend says its okay, but I know she’s really disappointed, and I think she might dump me.

 

Help, what do I do?!

 

 

 

Hello!

 

Actually, I’m not surprised by this difficulty at all. Here’s the problem: you’ve spend the first 31 years of your life NOT being sexual with girls until now, you finally have to perform.

 

I’ve seen this happen many times and I’m afraid it’s a terrible mistake! Waiting around for the right girl simple programs your mind to not be the otherwise sexual person you were born to be and now you have to un-program your mind and you’re going to have to do it quickly! She’s not going to wait around for another 31 years while you reverse this ridiculous education you’ve created for yourself.

 

I’m gong to help you here, but I’m not done lecturing you yet…

 

People have all sorts of crazy (frankly, stupid) reasons for doing these things: religion, emotionality, feminine bias, lack of opportunity created, etc., etc. The problem is that they all deny the foundational wiring built right into each of us. Now, because of whatever reasoning you used, your partner is suffering. That’s a very poor choice and as a first step to getting this solved, you need to change your way of thinking about all of this.

 

As another problem, you claim you found the “right one”. Of course, you’ve never been with someone like her before and thus, you don’t even know if this is true! You can only hope – not know.

 

That puts one hell of a lot of pressure on you to perform! You don’t just flip a switch and become a sexual person – you practice it your entire life. What have you been practicing???

 

Yet another problem: your sexual experience has been with the palm of your hand, not something so soft as your lover’s mouth or pussy. Yet MORE practice of the wrong ilk!

 

So, you see, with all of this combined, you have a lot to unlearn here.

 

Let’s start with this: NO MORE masturbation for awhile. You need to let that sexual tension build up in you so that your partner has something to work with. Once you get this solved, you can go back to jerking off if you want to, but give it some time.

 

Second, you’re going to have to work on building your own personal sexuality (something you’ve avoided now for 31 years). You need to teach your mind to sexualize women. (I can hear the gasps from all the way over here!) Yes, that’s exactly what I mean – you need to start seeing your partner as a sexual object – a sexual person. You subconscious mind doesn’t equate her with sex because you’re putting far too much onus on her as the “perfect woman”.

 

Unfortunately, she’s really not and you’ve got to see that. She’s just a woman like any other. She may have attributes you prefer but that’s a very different thing from being “perfect”.

 

As you begin to make headway into this new path for yourself, you’re going to find that you also start growing your sexuality and thus, your response to your partner. Frankly, you have a lot of work to do here but these difficulties are entirely self-inflicted. It’s time to un-self-inflict them and come the healthy, sexual person you were born to be. You deserve this, but even more your partner deserves this.

 

Best regards…

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Have a love, dating, relationship, sex or man/woman question? You can write to me by going to: http://beingaman.com/ask_question.asp for answers. For more information about my books, “Being a Man in a Woman’s Worldtm” (volumes I and II), and other products visit: www.beingaman.com. Check out the new BAM! TV at http://beingaman.tv.

 

Copyright (c) 2008, Dr. Dennis W. Neder

All rights reserved.

If you are a registered nurse who is considering further education, there plenty of incentive following through with this plan. These days, the best nursing jobs are reserved for those nurses who have an advanced degree in nursing. Whatever your motivation, there are many benefits to continuing your nursing education. Those benefits include better jobs, higher pay and career opportunities that do not exist without a BSN or MSN. Here is a look at some of the benefits of continuing your education once you become a registered nurse.

You’ll learn new skills that you can use no matter what you do in nursing.

The courses for your Bachelors Degree in Nursing will help you develop knowledge and skills in management which many hospitals and nursing homes require for promotion to head nurse or charge nurse. You will learn about theories in management, mediation and decision making. You will have a wide range of elective courses so that you can develop your expertise in various specialty areas. If you would prefer to write, manage, or work at a specific setting or with a particular population, the courses that you take on your way to a BSN will help you explore health issues in age, religion, ethics and government policy.

A Bachelors Degree in Nursing opens doors in many different areas.

A BSN opens doors in nursing beyond firsthand nursing care. Among the many career options that you will have available to you as a BSN are:

· Management Positions in nursing homes, hospitals and clinics, including Head Nurse and Charge Nurse positions. Staff nursing positions can keep you close to your patient care roots while giving you openings to advance into better paying positions with more responsibility.

· Community and Public Health nurses work directly with the public in a variety of settings. With a BSN, you’ll be qualified to manage staff and run small clinics under a doctor’s supervision. You may be able to find work as a nurse researcher with a team of community workers, or even help develop policy for community health standards.

· Independent Practice is another option for a nurse with a BSN, particularly one who specializes in home health care or midwifery. Work through temporary staffing agencies or out of your own office as a consultant with a BSN.

· Government Service in any field requires at least a Bachelors degree. Some of the government careers that are open to nurses with a BSN include military careers, the Public Health Service, Indian Health Service, the Veterans Administration, Peace Corp and Vista. You can work as a medical attaché in consulates around the world, or work toward a Masters Degree in public policy to help shape public ethics and medical policy in local, state or federal government.

Those are just a small subset of the various nursing positions that are open to nurses with a BSN. Others include working in the insurance industry, product management, research and public administration.

Nurses with an advanced degree earn more money

Even when nurses work in similar positions, BSNs earn more money than their non-degreed counterparts. A more compelling detail however, is that the degree opens the door to higher paying career opportunities in nearly every field. A nurse working in medical management can earn above $70,000, nearly $20,000 more than the mean salary for registered nurses.

A BSN is the stepping stone to a Masters Degree in Nursing.

If your intent is to become a nurse practitioner, a nurse midwife or a nurse anesthetist, you’ll need to continue your education further and get a Masters Degree in your chosen field. Those professions offer both more money and greater autonomy for a more satisfying career.

Tuition reimbursement and other tuition aids are readily available for advanced nurse degrees.

Nurses with a BSN are so valuable to an organization that many hospitals, clinics and other medical facilities offer tuition reimbursement and other tuition aid to registered nurses in their employ. There are more grants and scholarships available for registered nurses than there are in most other fields.

A Bachelors Degree in Nursing gives you more job security and portability.

As the medical field becomes more specialized, more and more nursing jobs require an advanced degree. In order to remain competitive, you need to advance your education beyond the standard continuing education that’s required to keep your job and your license. If you intend to advance in your career, a BSN is a must.

Many nursing schools now offer easy access to Bachelors Degree courses for Registered Nurses. The benefits available include online classes, shorter semesters and credit for your work experience. If you’re considering a degree in nursing, be sure to check into colleges that offer courses for working nurses and make it easier for you to gain your degree while continuing to work.

Sexual harassment in the workplace is a serious problem, and although employees know that it exists, many are unsure of what to do if they become a victim. According to the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, sexual harassment is defined as “unwelcome sexual advances, requests for sexual favors, and other verbal or physical conduct of a sexual nature when submission to or rejection of this conduct explicitly or implicitly affects an individual’s employment, unreasonably interferes with an individual’s work performance, or creates an intimidating , hostile or offensive work environment.” Title VII of the Civil Rights Act is the main federal law that prohibits sexual harassment. In addition, each state has its own anti-sexual harassment law.

Employment lawyer Greg Noble explains, “Sexual harassment really goes beyond just your boss being mean to you. It has to involve some sort of sexual conduct.” This can take the form of a work environment that becomes hostile because of inappropriate sexual comments, insults, or touching. A hostile work environment may also be created through sexual photographs, demeaning jokes, or threats with a sexual undertone.

A second type of sexual harassment is known as quid pro quo. According to employment attorney Greg Noble, this occurs when “your boss is conditioning a benefit of employment on something sexual, such as a date, sex, or anything like that.” Quid pro quo sexual harassment can also occur when someone in a position of authority requests a sexual favor in exchange for not firing or otherwise punishing the employee, or in exchange for a favor such as a raise or promotion.

It is important to be aware that if you are the victim of any type of workplace harassment, you cannot simply quit your job. New Jersey employment attorney Kevin Costello explains, “Unfortunately, it’s not so easy to just quit. In order for us to carry remedies for you into court and say that you were forced to resign because of the harassment, it has to be pretty bad. The standard is called ‘conduct which is so extreme and outrageous that no reasonable person could be expected to continue to endure it’…If the harassment is that bad, you do have a right to leave [and] you do have a right to capture lost wages and other lost benefits.” Exactly what kind of behavior qualifies as “extreme and outrageous conduct” varies from case to case, judge to judge, and court to court.

Although you cannot quit your job unless the sexual harassment is severe, your employer is obligated to address the issue of harassment and take action to resolve the problem. “It is important that people understand that employers have an obligation under the law not just to prevent unlawful sexual harassment, but when there’s a legitimate complaint about it, to investigate it fully and to take corrective action. If the employers don’t do that, they’re subject to all kinds of penalties,” explains employment attorney Steve Cahn.

Educating yourself on both federal sexual harassment laws and your state’s law is an essential step in protecting yourself from becoming a victim of sexual harassment. When you know your rights, you will know when they are being violated and you will be empowered to defend yourself. If you are sexually harassed at work, it is advisable to inform the harasser directly that the conduct is unwelcome and must stop. In addition, you should use any employer complaint mechanism or grievance system available. Finally, it is advisable to speak to an employment lawyer about the situation as soon as possible in order to ensure that your rights are protected and the proper legal procedure for dealing with the harassment is followed.

The impact of health education on women can help them to cope with the changes that occur in their bodies.

A woman’s body is a delicate but complex entity. It must be able to handle all of the various changes that take place while being able to make the necessary adjustments at the different stages throughout her life. That is why it is so important that all women become educated about her body. This will help her to understand all the changes that her body goes through and help her to cope with all those changes. It will also give her a better idea of when to know that something is wrong.

In fact, a health guide for women should be a tool in her library and should be referred to often. A good health guide will teach proper techniques to remain fit and healthy. It can even provide information on doing proper exercises, pampering the muscles, and even how to maintain a high level of activity at all times. In addition it can teach her the importance of taking a supplemental diet to improve her fitness and overall health.

Health education begins at home

The home is the first place for a woman to begin her health education, and it is important that it start at a very early age. Young girls should ask their mothers about changes in her body and what to expect. Simple issues, such as menstruation, should be discussed at a young age so that young women are able to cope with any changes and overcome any feelings of shock that she may experience.

Health education should continue throughout a woman’s life. She should understand what happens when her hormones are out of balance, especially when it is time for her periods. She should learn what to expect during pregnancy and finally what the period of menopause will be like. In fact, such changes in a woman’s hormones may have such a profound impact on her life and her health that it is really important that she understands what is going on. She should become educated in coping with mood swings, possible depression, and even certain diseases and conditions.

The good news is that today there is an abundance of information available to help women take better care of their health. It is not like in the past where there was a lack of information. Just search the internet and a ton of information can be found on almost any topic. Visit any doctor’s office and you will find a number of flyers and brochures covering a wide variety of women’s issues.

It is also a good idea to always consult with your healthcare provider before telling yourself you have something or that something is wrong with you. They can help you to determine what, if anything, is really wrong and provide information on the best course of treatment.

Remember, the impact of health education on women can be a positive one.